So,
nearly a year after my last post I have once again decided to
enlighten the world with my wisdom. I'm on annual leave from my night
job at the moment, so I'm more idle than usual and let me tell you
that being bone idle can be very exhausting. I decided to occupy
myself with something. Since housework really isn't my forte, I opted
for some writing. Thankfully I still go into the office once in a
while, or I would probably go mad with a brain muddled and soaked of
too much coke.
Daytime
TV is otherwise an excellent way of passing a day. We do get some
rather exciting series on Swedish TV during the weeks. The majority
of them American or British, but there are one or two Swedish shows I
follow too.
Now,
let's take a look at what my day looks like:
I
start my morning around 8 am with a nice cup of tea in front of
the Jeremy
Kyle show. Still in bed I can revel in the misery of the poor
victims of abuse/drug abuse/cheating or what ever else is the topic
of the day. I never cease to be amazed by the sheer madness of it
all. It's a slightly less garish version of Jerry Springer. This one
at least pretends to put an analytical spin on the whole thing.
Between
9 and 11 am I breakfast and attempt to look busy. This I usually do
quite successfully. Admittedly I sometimes also do a spot of tidying
and hoovering, as we recently bought a new hoover which appeals to my
love of all things mechanical. I am, however, still looking for the
ultimate cleaning tool – the one which keeps your house spotless
whilst not even being taken out of the cleaning cupboard. Heroic
Husband believes they are called servants, but apparently they are
quite high maintenance. I'm looking for a self supporting one.
At
11 am is Army
Wife time. Always good for a cry.
12
am calls for The
DogWhisperer. He's rather dishy, that Caesar Milan. Anyone know
where you can get one?
1
pm there is a Swedish show called Det
okända (The unknown), or as it is called in our family –
the spooky show. It's a show where mediums go around to people's
houses to clear them off spooks and other nasties. Not really my
favourite, but it passes the time to...
2
pm, when The
GoodWife starts. Now that is a good one. A series without
even as much as one likeable character, yet very addictive. It's
about Alicia, mother of two, wife of the ex state attorney Peter
who's been caught up in a prostitution scandal causing Alicia to go
back to work as a defence lawyer. Peter is nasty, Alicia is cold as a
fish, Alicia's colleagues are scheming bastards and the children meek
and hapless. I love it!
3
pm the cleaning ladies in How
Clean is Your House? takes over. Isn't it amazing how good it
feels to watch someone else's mess. My house is messy, not two ways
about it, but in comparison with these people's places it's a
gleaming palace!
Wife
Swap UK starts at 4 pm and once again I get to feel like a
perfectly normal human being. What compels people to take part in
these shows? Do they honestly believe they are so perfect that they
will be able to deliver another family from their sorrows just by
imposing their own ways on them?
By 5
pm I get to feel a bit cultural and intellectual in front of Antiques
Roadshow...
Thus
is my day spent!
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